UPDATED!!! Cover Concept Reveal: Murderous Little Darlings

This is the cover concept (1) for my forthcoming series of vampire novellas, the first book is called Murderous Little Darlings. Let me know what you think!

Here is cover concept (2) and I think the text is clearer here. Thoughts?

Here is cover concept (3) and I think the title SHOUTS so you can't miss it! Thoughts?

Synopsis (from GoodReads) :-

Three siblings. An endless list of victims. A whole lot of time to kill.

* * *

With two specimens of the undead on either side of her, Juliana knew there was no escape. Kill the one they had selected for her, or be killed, and become one of them. What had the neighbours in the road called them, back when their childhood pranks were just that? 

Oh yes, she remembered now. Murderous Little Darlings. They had the faces of angels, but possessed the very soul of the Devil. 

Marcus had fully embraced his vampire side from the moment he was born. Rocco was the second eldest, and had fought the temptation all of his life. Then Marcus finally broke him.

That just left Juliana. Will she resist them, or join in the hunt?

A black comedy from the author of Stormling and Dark Winter

How This Successful Author Just Keeps on Writing - A Profile of Barbara Taylor Bradford

Barbara Taylor Bradford has sold 85 million books worldwide and is the best selling author of A Woman of Substance.

Her story is rather interesting because she doesn't allow allow anyone - not her husband, not her editor, no-one in fact, to read her manuscript until it is completed.

In my dealings with GoodReads, I find it interesting that giving out advanced copies is almost becomig the norm. I expect Miss Bradford would recoil in horror at giving her books out ahead of publication.

Still, her process in writing is interesting.

She gets up at 5am on most mornings. Mine is close to 6:30. If she has a chapter of a new book to read, she will read it whilst making tea. I do that too. I don't grab my iPod first...it's always a book.

Miss Bradford and her husband have just celebrated their 50th anniversary, and for the last 18 years they have lived in New York on 52nd Street. She has a housekeeper who cleans every day, because she finds it impossible to write novels and scrub the floors.

If only I could do that. Of course, I could say that my writing is too important to start cleaning...so what I will do is keep the house as clean and clutter-free as I can. I hate an untidy home. But I have no cleaner or housekeeper, so when I am asked how I find time to write a novel, I simply say 'because I must find that time, no matter what.'

This author writes by hand. She will then type it up, edit where needed, fax to a typist, who puts it on a disc, sends the edit back, so that BTB can type it up again.

On starting a new novel, she says, " I already have the story in my head, including the ending, so I begin with an outline, and write consecutively - page one is always page one."

I totally agree with this. Even if you know the ending, don't rush to write it. Ease it out, and it will come. When you're finished, you will know it. I don't think that is something they teach in creative writing class.

I hasten to add that I haven't read any of the author's books. But I was interested in her writing process. I think the main point I wish to convey is to say that authors simply have to write. If it is not happening for you, take a break, go for a walk, whatever it is. The ideas will come.

If you are an author, I wish you luck in your writing and happy reading to the rest of you!

One Month To Go: Stormling - Book One

Kayla Andaris, from Stormling (Book One)

"So what exactly are you?"

"I am a woman."

"That. You. Are. So what do you do for fun?"

"I hunt, and I kill on sight."

"Do you kill everything on sight?" 

"Only the idiots that ask stupid questions."

Hello friends. I've been a bit erratic with my blog posts this year, but you'll forgive me I hope, as I have been writing heavily for Dark Winter 2 and editing the book that titles this post - Stormling.

Stormling is a good old fashioned epic fantasy adventure that I originally drafted in 2012, which seems a long time ago now. I started writing the book in 2011 following the publication of my martial arts book. Nothing like continuity of genres, is there?

Still, Stormling went through several title changes, successive re-drafts, before arriving at the one that is likely to be viewed by the populace from end of April 2014.

Kinta Pel, one of Stormling's anti-heroes

"Excuse me sir, do you know the way to (gulps)....oh, never mind..."

As with any story worth its salt, it has to have original concepts to make it stand out, and a great hook to make you want to read on. I believe I've achieved this with the book, but as any writer knows, it is the readers who tell us what we have written.

Anadyr, one of the heroes in the book, and the main Stormling of the title.

"Thank the stars he's on our side."

This story ranks as the most difficult one I've attempted. When I hear some authors have written a book in less than a calendar month, I really wonder how they did it. I was going to release Dark Winter 2 straight after the first one, but I wanted to give the residents of Gorswood a rest, and anyway, I felt Romilly and her friends had been through quite enough already!

The story has been a difficult one because it straddles both the fantasy realm and also the real world. With the real world setting, the was originally the main driver for the story, but successive re-writes demanded a re-think, and basically, I was able to swap around the real world setting for the fantasy one, and I believe the story is all the better for it.

Doesn't this just go to prove that even if you know your own story like the back of your hand, you need to step back sometimes...for months even....go and do something else, and then come back to it with fresh eyes, new thoughts, and a different perspective.

Andus Rey, ruler of Caldreah Monus and our story's main bad guy.

Four wings and two swords? That's just being greedy. 

I think the fantasy world is something we all love to get lost in, right? Sometimes I love books that really 'speak' to us and hit the emotional chords. But other times, you just want something totally different, and I really enjoyed creating this world. I don't think I had any grey hairs before but I certainly do now :)

Corianna, Lady Elf and landlady of The Faeries Wings Public House

The Angelic Warrior who clipped her own wings to run a pub! 

Stormling is populated with angels, warriors, immortals, faeries, sorcerers and sorceresses....all the elements I loved in books and video games when I was growing up (I'm still growing up I think).

All the same, the cover, when it is revealed first on **someone's very fantastic blog**, will show the fantasy elements of what is to come, but have a very strong focus on the real world.

Over the course of a 100,000 word book, some memorable quotes have to come out. I've posted just a few on GoodReads to give you an idea of the book without giving any of the plot line away.

Faeries are just awesome, aren't they?

So. Keep a look out for the book. And if by some happy chance you get yourself a copy, please let me know what you think!

Book Review: Doctor Sleep by Stephen King

People fall into two camps when the conversation turns to Stephen King. Some find his writing a bore, self-indulgent, a mess. Others find his descriptive style and narrative tone engrossing. For me, I find myself sometimes in group one, at other times, in group two. As a youngster, I would buy one book after another of Stephen King's, placing me firmly in group two.

It's not hard to know why. Carrie, The Shining, Salem's Lot, Pet Semetary et cetera were all brilliant books in my view. How can an author strike gold three times with his first three novels? It cannot be all down to luck, can it?

However, I will admit to having seen the film version of The Shining before I read the book, and here's where I encountered a problem. You see, I thought the film was brilliant and utterly terrifying. I can watch it again and again and still feel very scared. It fails to date, even though it should.

The film was criticised by Stephen King, who said it was more Stanley Kubrick's version than his own, and on reading the book, I understood why Stephen King felt that this was not a book-to-screen adaptation.

Too many things are different between the two, but I appreciated the book for what it is, and also the film.

Inbetween the release of the follow-up, Doctor Sleep, there was a Stephen King approved TV movie version of The Shining, but I didn't like it at all,sorry to say.

So I had this book on order for a while, but kept from reading it because I was a bit in Group One regarding his books in recent years. Yes, he could still do it....books like Desperation, and Misery, were high points....others, like Gerald's Game and Hearts in Atlantis were poor offerings indeed.

So I opened the book up and it reminded me of a post I saw recently about FEAR (Forget Everything and Run / Face Everything and Rise), because it says FEAR stands for F*** everything and run!

Typical King. He uses a LOT of profanity, but sometimes, it's really funny when kept in context.

People who have seen the film of The Shining but have not read the book, will be most confused by reading Doctor Sleep, so you really have to read Book One, and that book did set a standard for scares (although I do believe Pet Semetary is the book SK should be remembered for).

I even re-read The Shining prior to finally reading this one and I am glad I did.

The pace is reasonable at the start, and I wondered how Danny would fair as an adult, given all he had gone through as a kid. Two parts of Book One stood out for me - the woman in the bath tub (which scared me more in the book than in the film....if that doesn't seem possible I assure that it is) and the twin sisters who would appear asking Danny to play with them - forever.

Doctor Sleep makes more of an impact through our emotional connection to Danny, Wendy and Dick, although I kind of miss Jack (John) Torrance as a principle character, and it is something I wrestled with when writing my own take on the horror genre.

It starts well, but kicks into high gear about mid-way through the book. Stephen King is back to his best in this story, and it's the best book of his that I have read since 1997's Desperation. I hope he keeps going now. It's very brave to revisit a story so well known, but I think he's just about pulled it off. It is not as good as The Shining, but Dan the adult is an interesting, well rounded character, though there is a generous homage paid to him as a child from the first book.

In a world where writers feel pressured to write trilogies relatively quickly, it's refreshing that Stephen King can take his time to craft a wonderful sequel. The two books are best read together.

I suppose he has the luxury of being an established writer, so much so that there was great excitement about the title of the book, long before it was released.

Where the book failed a bit, was to put the Jack Torrance template, to a large degree, onto Dan as an adult. I felt it was a bit of cop-out to make him an alcoholic, just like his father. It's like SK is saying 'you've got your daddie's genes, so if he downs a litre of bourbon a day, you will too son!'

So I think it was an opportunity missed, because Danny as an adult should have come to terms with the events he had as a child. Of course, we have all had experiences as children that may shape us as an adult, but we should not let those dark elements win. They must know their place - and we should put them in their place.

It's like the adult Dan totally gave into it, and in this regard, Doctor Sleep fails in the scare factor, whereas The Shining hit them out of the park time and again.

It's a good to almost great book. If The Shining didn't exist, in a weird way, this book would be higher rated in my view.

So it's good - very good - and worth reading. Just forget (to some extent) all about The Shining and you'll enjoy the ride!

What Happens When A Second-Hand Book-Store Is Supported by the Local Community

As much as I have grown to like e-books, there's clearly a slightly dark side to it. As I reported earlier, books can be pirated all too easily, which is a disgusting practise. Fortunately, many decent people still buy through legal channels and support writers, many of whom struggle to make it as a career.

What of the more traditional outlets then? In the news story below, the shop owner let people know of his dwindling profits, and via Facebook no less! It shows that the local communities do play a big part in keeping shops like these open.

Perhaps he needs to become a more up to date shop, but it is difficult when there are so many titles out there, and yes...the internet makes it easy to buy.

But I must say that my own shopping experience showed that the internet and how we buy things now was just waiting to happen. I could often go in any bookstore, record shop, and so on, only to ask for a given item, only to be told 'oh, we don't have that in stock.'

It's lazy at best, poor customer service at worst. Amazon have just simplified the supply-chain process.

All the same, I'm happy for this shop owner, as nothing beats browsing through books...the internet just doesn't have the same charm for me!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2539862/Struggling-second-hand-bookshop-owner-shocked-dozens-customers-descend-store-posting-dwindling-profits-FACEBOOK.html

Book Review: Rebecca's World by Terry Nation

This book has the distinction of being the first book I ever loaned at the library. It stood out because it was one of those in a rack, not a shelf, and although it had the promotional strapline of 'by Terry Nation, creator of the Daleks', I wondered if I had not stumbled upon the wrong kind of book.

(I was never a Doctor Who fan and the current mania about it still hasn't swayed me, but anyway....)

The book is simply told, but has engaging characters and a plot which makes you want to keep going to see what happens next.

I was eight years old when first reading this, and now, I must have completed it for the umpteenth time, it's a book that, despite its age, never gets old.

Rebecca is bored. Rebecca is not allowed to go up to one of the rooms in the house 'because her father keeps expensive equipment there.' Quite why Rebecca appears to be on her own is uncertain, but she takes her chance and goes in the room anyway.

There's a telescope there, much bigger than Rebecca herself, and she peers through it, and becomes fixated on this one star. As she looks, the star gets closer, and suddenly, she finds herself transported out of the room, onto this planet, the 'World' of the title.

It's easy to see why it's called Rebecca's World. She is one hell of a confident eight year old, and goes from adventure to adventure without losing her mind. Initially, when she finds herself in the room with some mad scientist (aren't they all, but then, without them, where would we be?!) who is very cross with her and informs her that he won't be able to send her home, Rebecca cries. A lot. This makes the scientist even more mad and cross with her, so she is forced out of his lab until such time as he can find a way to send her home.

Along the way, Rebecca meets Grisby, a man who wears more than one overcoat (I counted four at one point) and owns the 'most painful feet in the universe.' Kovak is a spy who, despite his many disguises, everyone can tell it is him. Finally, there's Captain 'K', who owns the only GHOST stick in the world.

Oh. So finally, a plot! 

It turns out that a very nasty man, Mister Glister, is the richest man in this world, and as he explains to our heroine most seriously, 'I've made it my life's work to make everyone poor', and he has done it by burning all the trees down in the world to feed his industry and make himself rich. Some of the shelters from the said GHOSTS are made of the wood from these trees, but given Mister Glister's over the top approach to construction, there stands only one tree in this world, and it is guarded by the GHOSTS.

Captain 'K', however, owns a GHOST stick...a weedy twig, really, but one zap / kerpow / thunk in the direction of a GHOST, they 'pop' and disappear. hence why Mister Glister would like to have it for himself.

Rebecca and her new friends hatch a plan to get the map to this last tree (in Mister Glister's possession) to save the people of the world, and Rebecca hopes by then that she would find a way back home.

This is where the book really kicks off and we meet all manner of nasties, the Silkies, the Bad Habits, the Tongue Twister Monster.

If you haven't read this story, you really should. Rebecca seems more grown up than most eight year olds, which makes the plot (reading as an adult) more believeable.

Do I ask too much from a children's book? Probably. But this remains one of the best examples of a simple story executed brilliantly. 

Seek out a copy and enjoy it!

The Writer's 'Red Shirt' Syndrome...How Do You Ensure That None of Your Characters are Redundant?

Anyone who watches Star Trek (especially in the original series) will know that anyone wearing a red shirt was basically expendable. Despite the many dangers Captain Kirk and the others faced, it was inconceivable that they would actually die (which makes Kirk's exit in 'Generations' all the more annoying).

Red shirts, on the other hand, were The Expendables long before Sly Stallone coined the name for his films.

As writers, we have to guard against creating our own Expendables. Okay, in some stories, like thrillers, or murder mysteries, someone has to die. Already, this character is an expendable...he or she is redundant.

Or are they?

The best example I can think of an Expendable (note, NOT redundant) is in this book, the superlative 'Rebecca' by Daphne du Maurier

How many stories do you know of that have already killed off their main character? Or if you do, how many do it as well as 'Rebecca'?

One of my other favourite authors, Stephen King, can either write tonnes of expendable (and sorry to say, forgettable) characters like in Needful Things, or can focus on just a handful, and do it brilliantly, as in Misery.

Any which way we cut it....if you are a reader and are then told 'and then Mikey died...' you might feel cheated. After all, did we care about Mikey enough to have some feeling about his death? No? Then the writer did not build his story up enough.

If we knew that Mikey had been orphaned because his parents had been murdered, if we knew that he had been put into social care because he had no other family....if we knew he had found love, lost it, and found it again (or that the love of his life actually killed him)...we would care, wouldn't we?

But some characters get a line or two of introduction in an 800 page story, and before you can say 'man....you have to GO'...they're gone. Have you read books like that? How did you feel when you read that? If it was 'okay, I forgot who Mikey was because he hasn't been mentioned since page 142', then I think the author has overlooked a very important thing.

Sometimes, we read a book and watch a film just for the ride....I'm talking 007, Rocky, any Doctor Who episode. Will anything fatal befall the main characters? Really? Unlikely. So where's the drama? If no-one is at risk - no-one that we care about...no-one that we care about that the author has created, then basically, all you can do is enjoy the ride.

But creating swathes of expendable characters is not good. It is not good 'filler' for a story.

You can create a sword wielding goon, for instance, if it is possible he or she can kill the main character. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, there was originally a long fight scene between Indy and the sword guy. But the final script was that Indy just shoots him! Is it funny? In this context, sure....but do you recall the character? We remember him, because of his part in the movie. We don't need to know his name or anything else. In a film like this, it is a good use of an Expendable. As writers, we are not afforded the same luxury, and our Expendables have to be better drawn.

We cannot simply  introduce someone, give them a name, describe their looks and their basic motivations in a paragraph, only to drop them off the radar, only to bring them back near the end of the book to create some drama. And then, they realise that they were an expendable character.

I got the same reaction from someone who watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but who hadn't read the book.

"Why does Cedric die?" he said.
"So he can turn up in the next Twilight film, I suppose," was my reply.

His point was (even though others watching the film had read the book) that to a viewer, Ced was an expendable....he is hardly in the film version of GoF (by far the worst HP film I believe).

WOOP! WOOP! SPOILER ALERT!!!
Mike Newell may as well have gone and put Cedric in a red shirt, for all the screen time he got. I know he dies in the book, but the film took the assumption that everyone had read the book.

(ends)

So, one of things I try my hardest to do is create characters that readers will have some feeling about. If you don't care about the main characters, you will care even less about the supporting cast. Going back to Star Trek, and specifically, to Deep Space Nine, one of the strengths of that show was an amazing array of supporting characters, who would turn up every other episode.

Hate the show if you must...but what can't be denied is that it had great characterisation, and (save for two characters which I genuinely hated!) these characters gave a sometimes lightweight script, increased gravitas.

So unless your Expendable is 'Thug Number Two,' remember that all your characters must be relevant.

Happy reading and writing!

What's happening?! My Writing Progress and Release Schedule

I thought I would give you an update on where I am currently with my writing. With Christmas coming I have been less busy with my work, but that doesn't mean I have been less busy! There's been Christmas visits to friends and family that will continue over the holiday period.

Writing can be more difficult than ever to schedule in over the Christmas period. But I'll admit I am hacking away at my writing, and it is going well.

So, what's happening?

December 2013: The Essence of Martial Arts: Special Edition (Non-Fiction)

The original EOMA did okay....4,683 copies sold to date. Not bad for a niche book! But I knew I could write one a LOT better. So the Special Edition is not so much a re-hash but an entirely new version that I think will satisfy martial arts fans. A few interesting reviews on Barnes and Noble, no less :)

January 2014: Dark Winter #1 (Fiction)

Well, I am prepping Dark Winter for a printed release in January. I am still checking the proof at the moment which looks great but still needs a tidy here and there.

It's already had some reviews on Amazon UK and .com as well as a few ratings on GoodReads so I am happy with the differing ratings and reviews so far. I can't stress enough how much authors value reviews, so please leave me one if you get around to reading the book. I know many of you are Kindle or other e-reader users, but some like a print version too, so make your choice...personally I would go for the print edition :)

April 2014: *t**m**** (Fiction)

I know! "*t**m****" is such a catchy title, but before you start blogging it everywhere, tweeting it and wearing the tee shirt, I must tell you what I know all you very intelligent people know already  - that it is not the full title or some attempt by me to be *funny / clever / intellectual. 

In fact, there are only two people on Earth who know the title right now, and what can I tell you about it....

well, not much, except to say that I am in the 'polishing' phase of the book and debating cover ideas with Claudia @ http://phatpuppyart.com/ who did the amazing cover art for Dark Winter and I can't wait to work with her again on this and future projects!

The book is much lighter in tone than Dark Winter, but no less thrilling (I hope) and yet is much more epic in scope. I originally penned four huge story arcs for this, so expect an announcement - title, cover, synopsis, and so on, soon. Going to be pretty magical though....that's all I'm saying.

October (Halloween) 2014: Dark Winter #2 (Fiction)

It won't be a sequel, it's a definite follow-up, continuation, whatever you would like to call it. I have a three story arc for this,  so if you liked Book One, you may love Book Two. I have been working very hard to get the words in my head onto screen. But it takes time, even typing at my sluggish pace (oh, right - THAT'S why...!)

So that's me, for now. What are your projects, and how are you progressing with them?

Remember that they will only happen if you give it your all. Not your friends, not your family - YOU. I'm wishing for you that you will get your work out there. People need new stories, new things to enjoy. As writers, we have the potential to fill that need. So let's go and do it :)

Happy reading, writing, enjoying life :)

 

Be Disciplined in Writing, and You'll be Disciplined in (almost) Everything

What is the single most difficult thing I faced as a writer?

Without doubt, it was the start. So, what to do? In my case, I made extensive notes for Dark Winter, writing out, in some detail, a plot, character list, a 'world that they existed in', and  how they interacted with others in the story. What were / are their motivations? What effect was I going for? Drama, a love interest, a murder....all three?

It's a wonder any books get written at all when we consider what's involved.

Admittedly, you learn as you write, and you learn more once you've completed what you've written.

However, the notes planning was very important. So I had one file called 'Notes', the other called 'Draft One'.

I had the basics of the story in my head. But I will also say that this wasn't my first go at a full length work of fiction.

I credit that story with helping me write this one better.

I not suggesting you attempt to write two stories to achieve one good one. But it is true that the more we use our muscles, the stronger they become. In this case, our writing muscles have to be developed, and this is not as easy as it sounds.

So, how to get the discipline then? One thing I avoided was loads of websites saying 'how to do it'. Before you say 'well there's a conflict with this post then!' I am just writing this to show you what I did, and currently do. Hopefully, it will work for you. At least, I hope some elements will.

As martial arts is a big part of my life, let me explain how the discipline there, helped me, here.

I could be teaching at any time of day, literally. So writing at say, 7am through to 8am sounds great. But writing is not my main income...teaching is. So if I have a lesson then, the work goes into that. The writing project is shelved.

You want to write when you have finished in the evening, so you decide on 10pm through to say, 12 mid-night. But your other half wants you to sleep earlier, so you do that instead.

What I am saying is, writing is important, but things will always come up that you must simply give attention to. We cannot be like Jack Torrance in The Shining, who hates his wife interrupting his writing (not that he did much :).

Of course, we would like to be left alone to write our novel. Yes, the one we'll be remembered for.

Or, if I can share with you my view....the one you will be happy with.

This is not a small world, I-can't-achieve-big-things-vision.  It's more about being happy writing, whether it is non-fiction or fiction.

If you don't enjoy writing, it will become a chore, you will labour to the end, that's if you get there at all, and most likely, you will detest what you've written.

The first step, is just a small one.

Set yourself not a daily goal, or even a weekly one. Just commit to start.

Once you start, you will get it going. Yes, the road will be bumpy, even if you have done extensive notes. Even then, be guarded against those notes constraining your story. As you write, it will naturally develop.

Don't kill off a character in chapter six just because your old notes says so. Do it if it is right. Think about about it, and resolve to make the first draft workable. That is all. Because the net stage, re-drafting, is a longer, more tricky thing to do well.

I find that once I am passed 5,000 words, there is no stopping me. Soon, you will be on 10,000, and depending on the length (novella, series, epic!) you will soon have that first draft completed.

If you have to set a goal, look at it now...we are in 2013, so let's say you will have your draft done - draft One - completed, within six months. Does that sound reasonable? Let's say you don't complete it, but you have say, 80% done...isn't that better than nothing?

I can write from 500 words to around 4,500 words in a day. It doesn't mean I won't delete some, or re-edit large swathes of text as I'm going along, but it's all about getting your writing muscles stronger.

In martial arts, I have that discipline...I've just transferred it to other areas off my life.

You can do it too. Ask yourself what it is that you are most disciplined at, and how you can use that energy and focus to write.

And I will be then happy to see your book out there!

Happy writing!

Cover Reveal and Launch Date - The Essence of Martial Arts: Special Edition

In 2009, I had already started penning notes for a book that was to be entitled The Essence of Martial Arts. I called it that because it's not really possible for one book to contain everything about martial arts.

So I focussed on what I had trained in, and still train in - Kung Fu, Jeet Kune Do, Tai Chi and Karate.

In 2011 it was published.

So why the new edition? :-

Well. The publisher was concerned about some of the content. Who knows? Maybe they are / were right and the bits I was advised not to include last time, I should not do on this occasion either.

However, I really don't think what I wanted to include last time should upset anybody, and in any case, the new edition features an expansion on some of the chapters, plus new chapters too.

This edition also pre-empts a much bigger non-fiction book that will really drill down and explain in a lot more detail on the individual moves and why they are important.

Who should buy this edition:-

• People who bought the first edition, liked it, and want to know more.
• Here are some reviews of the book on Amazon , iBooks and Barnes and Noble.
• People who are interested in martial arts and didn't buy the first edition
• People who may not like strict martial arts programs but want to know how to defend themselves in today's (sometimes violent) society

To date the book, across its various editions (hardback, paperback and e-book) have sold over 4,500 copies. That's pretty awesome for a rather niche subject and I'm thankful to everyone who bought it.

So I really hope you will give the new edition (e-book only for now) a go. It will be available from Monday 9th December 2013. Originally was going to be 25th November, but I have to tweak it a bit further!

The photo above is me, but I'm much less scary in real life!

Interviewed in 2011 on a local radio station, you can tell I am right out of my comfort zone! Still, you can listen to part one here and part two here if you want a laugh. I don't think I can cut a living on a radio station so I had best keep on teaching!